Crayons

Crayons remind me of the days before I had to raise myself.

Before mommy did meth.

Before daddy left.

Before we became a broken family

And I became a broken girl.

Crayons are important to me.

They help me go back to simpler times.

Before I knew what sex was.

Before I got pregnant

 and then lost the baby.

What it felt like to get so drunk that i puked for days

just so i could forget the baby i should've had...

Crayons help me relive the times before,

Before I got so depressed that I couldn't leave my bed for weeks. 

Before self harm became a regular thing.

Before my little sister was too scared to walk into my room, 

because she was afraid that the night before,

 I had tried to die, 

just like many of my friends already had. 

Crayons remind me that once, things were okay

and maybe they will be again.