Being alive means fears

When we are young, we are scared of monsters under our beds. Daddies and Mommies tell their precious children that there are no monsters under our beds. As we grow older, we realize they are really in our heads....

Dark side- Kelly Clarkson

Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

What can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Bricks

I like to think that you are one of a kind. That you were meant for me, and me only.  You comfort me in ways none will understand.  You are always steady, always holding me up when I start to crumble and fall apart. I know you will never leave me. But I will leave you. Someday, I will grow too old for your company.  Someday, I will be sitting alone. Thinking of you. Missing your warmth. Remembering the secrets we shared.. Nobody will ask you to share the secrets I shared with you, for nobody knows our connection. 

You are my best friend. We have been friends for as long as i can remember... When mommy and daddy fought, throwing punches and vulgar words, I ran to you for comfort. I would bury my face into the ridges of your side. You would warm me, make the tears stop. I knew things would be okay someday soon. 

We used to play pretend. Princesses living in a tower. Cinderella living in a cottage. Dorthy, waking up in Munchkin Land. 

Writing on this blog is the hardest thing i have had to deal with since my freshman year (Read my colors post to understand)
It gives me so much anxiety.
I worry that it is not good enough for people to enjoy. 
I fear that my blog is too depressing. 
We read blogs in class, and mine is never one of them. 
It makes me feel as though mine is  inadequate.

I know that that is not the case, but i cant help but feel it. 

Do any of you feel this way?


Please tell me i am not alone...

Love

I love the rain.

The smell of damp earth.

I love the warmth of a summer sun.

The pull of the waves in the ocean.

The beauty of the stars.

The feel of flannel pjs.

The texture of marshmallows.

The fizz of the first sip of a coke.

The juiciness of a peach.

The softness of a kitty.

The sounds puppies make when nursing.

The peacefulness of cemeteries 

I love the sound of my mother laughing.

The sound of kitties purring. 

The boom of thunder.

The flash of lighting. 

I love cuddling when it snows.

I love kissing in a rainstorm. 

I love laying under the stars with bae.

I love to love.